Why I don't believe in Magick, the Occult, or God ...Anymore

Why I don’t believe in Magick, the Occult, or God …Anymore

Part One of the ‘Everett Tucker can’t write well’ series on Mystic Politics.

by Everett Tucker – I was just thinking back to a lecture I recently watched by founder and editor of Skeptic Magazine, Michael Shermer.

Dr. Shermer was answering a question that I can’t recall with the observation that people very rarely admit when they were wrong, they slink away in a huff after an argument and debate, and upon reflection quietly realize they were incorrect. No press conference. No big announcement. The next time you see them they probably won’t even mention it. But they know. They know they were wrong, and it is embarrassing. It is especially embarrassing for those who had been condescending in delivering the incorrect position, for those that had been rude, for those that had goaded and name-called.

I have an announcement. I was wrong. It is embarrasing. And I have barely been called out on it.

When mystic politics first started I was going through a transitional period in my life. I had just had a series of failed forays into the capitalistic spheres. I ended up couch surfing in Laguna Niguel with a frenemy of my little brother who apparently saw in me a way out of his situation. Whatever his reasons were, he offered for me to crash in his apt for next to nothing a month and off I went. I left San Diego and the string of burnt bridges and alienated friends, families and associates- and landed in Laguna Niguel, the ugly little sister of Laguna Hills.

Something happened. Recently emancipated from excesses in alcohol and other vices, and a circle of ‘friends’ a step out of prison, I apparently had a large abscess that nature abhored and attempted to fill. It is hard to track the steps that lead you into dissociation with reality, but as best as I can tell it was smoking medical grade herb from the dispensary while I watched history channel stuff on Nostradamus & 2012 (in 2008) and listening to rap like immortal technique, compiled with new-found time, the fact that no one from my past was forcing me to adhere to ideas they had about me, and maybe stress over my impending mediocrity and failures at entrepreneurial ventures.

For whatever reason I began looking into freemasonry and secret societies. Simple enough. A few hundred youtube videos later I was contemplating 5th dimensional reptilians, NLP, mass mind control, Freeman Fly inspired musings on occult rituals, and saw things through a vigilant citizen and pseudo-occult media lens. Zeitgeist came out and I was ready to go gargle Jacques Fresco’s socialist balls. I KNEW everything was derivative of astrotheology and that all religions were the same story.

About this time I jumped to Oracle Radio and started trolling the chat like the moralfag I was attempting to be. This is where I first realized that most tea party folk, which I had supported in the YouTube community, were a bunch of Christian Libertarian Anarcho-capitalist bunker-down fucktards- and I didn’t like that. They didn’t get that every human is just here temporarily, and that their guns and militias were just derivative of not being at peace with the knowledge they are just visiting here- sort of like a gnostic fleshy prison.

I longed to break free of my body, but looking back it was probably my situation I wanted to break away from. I think bomb weed eased me through a depression, and upon exiting the other side of that depressed fog landed me in a susceptible place. I was in a paradigm where I KNEW I had a spirit, a soul, and astral form, and ethereal consciousness. I KNEW scientists just didn’t get it- how could they? They aren’t as smart as me and the Freemasons control all the universities- alumni, degrees, mortarboard hats, saturnalian dresses, sacred feminine envy- DUH!- totes obvious.

How can scientists see the forrest from the trees when the Rothschild led Bilderbergers are brainwashing everyone with mass-propaganda, nlp in tv, and haarp? Those poor sheep were fodder for all those scary esoteric types who misuse all the info I had acquired —from the Internet.

I suspect a lot of cults get started like this. Had I been more personable and charismatic I think it wouldv’e happened organically. I seem to do a good job of impressing my view on others still riding the fence.

This individulaism led me to want to do it all on my own. My own site, own radio stream, all me. I was gonna fix the bad info out there promoted by people who don’t realize there is a universal architect (DUH- founding fathers were deists…).

In aggregating media for the radio stream I discovered all sorts of new narratives, from occult of personality, bill cooper’s hour of the time, Gnostic Media, Thelema Coast to Coast, Coast to Coast, Red Ice, etc. I started devouring them all. From the Mystic Mind podcast to Sitting Now- I started to realize that this universal knowledge I thought I had tapped into, like Cayce’s akashic Records- like djwal khul, Lam, an Enochian angel, whatever had whispered secrets in my ear, was conflicting with itself.

I realized that all these would-be prophets were weaving narratives that didn’t QUITE work together. How could Franz Bardon’s magick work in the same system as Poke Runyan’s or Aleister Crowley’s? Didn’t this indicate that the systems where all in your head? Wait…. can anyone prove they actually evoked, invoked, or summoned a phantasm, egregore, demon, or angel? Hmmmm….

Why did Michael Aquino disagree with Anton Levey? Why did John Todd and Alex Jones not quite overlap? Why did christian conspiracy which I gobbled up without realizing, always presuppose the devil, heaven, hell, lucifer, jesus, et al? (I ignored these as metaphoric). Why didn’t these christians who were SO RIGHT about the NWO and their plans for the world screw it all up by placing Lucifer at the top of the ladder? Silly bears! Lucifer is the good guy- Annie Besant, Anne Bailey,  and HPB told me so. -DUH.

By this time I was doing 4 hours of radio a day, sensationalizing headlines and weaving them into this overly syncretic piece-meal narrative or Big History I had worked out. I read everything. I was was reciting literature like the Book of Abremelin, Initiation into Magick, and Black Magick by Michael Aquino on-air. I was reading, and making fun of, a larger and larger segment of alternative historians and would-be mystics daily. I lol’d for 10 minutes about David Wilcock’s website and assertion of being the reincarnation of Edgar Cayce. But… what separated him from me? Commitment to the meme? Attempting to start a cult?

I was just starting to position myself in the real estate the kooky and quirky occupied. I was looking at Rense and Red Ice and licking my chops at the prospect of digging into their audience to share my OBVIOUSLY SUPERIOR KNOWLEDGE (echo) …And then- my site got cracked. It was hacked and defaced and I didn’t know what to do so I laid low while I read books on cyber-security, redesigned the site (on Joomla- lol) and planned my triumphant return.

Not doing radio 4 hours a day gave me more time to read, and that is exactly what I did. I read approx 200 books on everything from conspiracy theory to the history of religion to mystery schools to mythology to political science, and when I emerged- I found I no longer believed in a fraction of the esoteric hooey I had been so gleefully dispensing from my pulpit.

After watching 50 or so debates on atheism and god and religion and science- I went from cheering when the TRUE BELIEVER flummoxed the STUPID ATHEIST, to nodding when the atheist said: prove it. I had become all too aware of the thousands of conflicting notions on god, religion, conspiracy, etc, and knew that the only way to navigate the treacherous path of truth— was science and logic.

I had been saved from eschatological millenarian infused conspiracy paradigms by the four horsemen of new atheism who showed me that real illumination doesn’t have a fucking thing to do with bronze-age attempts at philosophy- i.e. mystery schools.

I went from taking comfort in knowing that there was some architect I would experience in this life or others, to taking comfort in not knowing, to being comforted by asking someone professing a belief in the fantastic to PROVE IT. To challenging people to ANALYZE WHY they believe what they believe- and to examine why they believe it if it can’t be proven.

The assertion that people make that I don’t ‘get it’ always makes me smile. Oh, I get it. I know your thought process. I have been there. I KNOW why you just can’t understand how I can reject this beautiful construct you have built in your head- you see it all around you! I must be blind! :)

I apologize. I was wrong. It is embarrassing as fuck. My ears have been glowing red thinking about the dumb things I so confidently professed belief in- holographic enochian guardian angels and trans-plutonian aliens channeling messages? Andromedan Nordic blue skinned hominids? AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON SIRIUS B. Fuck you, Robert Temple.

I have no excuse. Maybe I lost my mind? Have I found it? Who knows. I know that when I confidently proclaim my disbelief in anything supernatural, or answer ‘I don’t know’ to questions of god, I feel pretty good about my positions. I have examined them, and they wern’t the ones I began with. Are you ready to examine your belief? Are you so invested in it that it won’t let you go?

What is the one question you want explored that you haven’t found yet on your quest? I don’t want to leave you empty handed. This just scratched the surface- help me get the rest of the words out by asking questions or giving feedback below in the comments. I will attempt answers and you might inspire me to write the second installment of the ‘Everett Tucker can’t write well’ series…

Everett Tucker is a Pageview Journalist, Pseudo Philosopher, & Director of Mystic Politics. 

Image (Abake/WikiMedia Commons)


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  1. Great read!
    I’m right where you were, red ear’ed in San Diego! haha

  2. Philosophus says:

    I can honestly identify with your position, I’ve asked myself similar questions, like how come Freemasons were members of the apartheid regime in South Africa and have appeared to maintain its segregation policies? Isn’t the mysteries supposed to elevate them to an above average morality? what was charitable about fuelling racism?
    Why can’t adepts show us proof of transforming matter, basically why do bad guys and the ignorant always have the final say?

    However I still do subscribe to the arcane, not as a belief but as a framework where error is possible and room for its correction by the practitioner, to me it is a way of life, to understand the organism under diverse and syncretic premises, to “transcend it’s limitations” and perhaps with the science behind it lay another stepping stone for the species to take it from there. One can say I practice such because I get to now and do stuff other people wont get to know and do though we are subject to the same life.

    • Well freemasonry is varied as sects of christianity are. The actions of men in a lodge speak to the desires of the men, and not explicitly the desires of freemasonry. In past generations it did attract some of the aristocracy and elite but I feel that society as a whole has become more granular with people less inclined to join groups- and as a result we will see freemasonry wane and become more of an esoteric/occult group than the boys club/frat it was in the past.

      I don’t think I would call learning by error arcane, I would call that science. :)

  3. You didn’t find Atheism, you find the freedom to assume you don’t know, and that’s right, we do not know but what we prove in ourselves, that is the only truth we will know … don’t replace belief with negation or you will get to the same place.

    I don’t know is a good starting point.

    • I did find atheism in that I reject all religious institutions and their particular designs for god.

      Epistemologically I cannot be certain of a deistic creator- but I don’t see what I would consider evidence of it.

  4. I’ve been following your work for a year or so now, and I wanted to say I liked reading this article. What I like about your writing is that no matter what you are subscribing to as a belief system your writing challenges the reader to do exactly what you call for in this article–think for themselves and come to their own conclusions. I also appreciate that you’re challenging yourself. This immediately made me think of the scene at the end of Dogma where Chris Rock asks if the main character is a believer now, and she responds “No, but I have a good idea.” Corny perhaps, but that line stuck with me, and is good to keep in mind.

    • I appreciate you sticking around through the temper tantrums and egoic self-aggrandizement that is Mystic Politics.

      I don’t want to give the impression that I am of mixed feelings on the issue. I ultimately reject any religious construct of god, and I do NOT have a good Idea about the greater workings of the universe. :)

  5. Did you ever try a stronger entheogen than pot?

  6. Isn’t skepticism a religion? Isn’t science occult?

    • No. No.

      • Those were rhetorical questions… you needn’t have answered… but per your answers… wrong and wrong!

        • Only someone with fundamental misconceptions of what ‘religion’ and ‘science’ are and mean can conflate or confuse them. It is often projection from lazy thinkers who reconcile other’s beliefs to be as faith-based and baseless as their own.

          Science is not occult. Occult means obscured, hidden. It is associated with esoteric and magickal tropes and thinking. Science is the antithesis as it lives and dies in the public forum and depends on transparent peer review.

          I would recommend buying a dictionary before you ask more intrinsically foolish questions. :)

          • Spoken like a true zealot!

          • Occult means “knowledge of the hidden” …Science routinely examines that which is hidden, to better understand systems not available to normal perception… ie: atomic/subatomic structures. Science illuminates that which is veiled or otherwise unseen or unexplained.

  7. Eirenaeus says:

    A wonderful read. A profession of revelation if ever I’ve heard one. Will you be changing the name of your blog now? There doesn’t seem to be anything Mystic about your politics any more. And I suppose Euclid’s 47th will have to go as your logo too.

    • Why would I change the name of the blog? I will be dealing with science and religion, politics and the occult, conspiracies and political corruption. It is an apt name and describes very well the topics we cover.

      Why would geometry that demonstrates the ingenuity of man not be fitting for an org perpetuating secular humanism?

  8. I was initially hesitant about reading this because I was afraid there would be a lot to debate you on, but I liked it and agreed with a good bit of it. I do believe in a higher power or consciousness– like a flow of things, if you will, and I think the universe is aware of itself somehow. But I do think David Wilcox is a joke and just stringing everyone along promising that the aliens will come save us eventually…as the powers that be take away more and more rights. I like how you basically said you’re cool with others believing in a god of some sort and it’s mostly just the idea of organized religion you’re against. I have my own spiritual beliefs and I feel there’s a force pervading everything. it’s the only thing that, to me is scientifically plausible (everything is energy, right?). not a man in the sky or an amorphous blob that is everywhere all at once that watches your every move. for the record I still believe in aliens and that they once came into contact with us on earth but I don’t know whether they were good or bad or neither (my best guess is neither). but that’s a different story. 😉

    • Hi Hannah-

      Thanks for your comment. What do you see as evidence for your belief in a higher power or consciousness?

      In a way I am cool with everyones religious beliefs, I just don’t respect them as viable or tenable.

  9. I have a simple question.
    In all of your studies of the “occult” you claim to have done, and I don’t doubt that you read a lot, did you ever apply what you learned or actually practice any of the techniques?
    Did you ever actually evoke any spirits, invoke a deity, cast a circle or conduct a spell?
    One reason for asking is that magick does, in fact, work. How or why is debatable, but it does work. You would know this had you actually practiced it.
    Simply reading everything you can will not prove or disprove anything, you have to test it. I can write you a book on how to cook but unless you actually get in the kitchen and get your hands dirty you won’t understand anything about it.
    If you did, in fact, practice some of the magick, then what rituals, spells or practices, specifically?

    • I have a simple answer. Sort of.

      “One reason for asking is that magick does, in fact, work.” <--- great. I will start listening again after you prove anything beyond power of suggestion. I did practice. I know that I found it to be entirely a 'non-performer'. Sigil magic, some bardonian stuff. I look back and laugh now. People like you are hysterical. "The only thing I can change with magic is myself". Glaring admission from the rebbe himself. I can dismiss it as unevidenced and non-falsifiable. It is up to you to prove it works, not for me to disprove it in the negative. You would know Jesus is the true lord if you just believed he was. You can't feel god until you pledge your life to him. You can't tell magick works unless you get in a group with the weirdest people in your city and play along out of pity as they do an incredibly sad theatre of macabre masturbation then look to eachother and say 'oh! did you experience the knowing? me tooo0o0o0oooo.', like a couple of kids playing bloody mary. - why don't you go look at videos of fundamentalist christians catching the spirit. They will tell you it works too. I have read too many books on how to start and maintain cults to see this as anything else. Prove it. If you had a quantifiable experience- prove it. Now. Don't argue. No excuses. Go plan an experiment and prove your cultish circular logic has any truth to it. Seriously. don't respond. Go prove it. I will look forward to seeing your research. Thanks.

  10. but of course now you’re just as inmersed in a paradigm as you were before , a diferent paradigm , but that’s all.

    I mean you used to laugh at those poor suckers , you were SO much smarter than them , they just didnt get it.

    … and now you laugh at those who still believe , seriously. you’re SO much smarter , you get it , you know their though process.

    you have it all figured it out , after all you did watch those atheism videos…

    the truth is you still dont know. we dont know. nobody does. and if you’re so into science , you know everything is posible , you know we have only grasped at a handfull of grains of the desert of knolowdge.

    because even einstein modified newton ” law” of gravity and einstein’s throries have been modified as well.

    it’s a shame after all this time, with all you’ve learned, even after being proven wrong, you’re stil as closed minded and arrogant you still dont get such a basic concept as respect, you’re so smart.

    • Your comment intimates that you don’t actually understand science and the scientific method, let alone Newtons or Einsteins theories. It is also clear that grammar and spelling escapes you, as well. I don’t respect your insight into the topic, that is for sure. 😉

      • haha , But I do understand them , more than you’ll get to know. and if you had anything of value to say about my insight you wouldnt have to focus on my english , wich is my second language. you’re as foolish as you were then , but at least no matter what you believe it is always right.

        • It is hard to know where to begin when people like you project weird assumptions onto what you imagine my positions to be. siding with the scientific method is the antithesis of ‘thinking you are always right’.

          Your haughty and ill-informed comments have already gotten more attention than they deserve, you have demonstrated no insight, and have no cache of gravitas to orate from.

          I am SO much smarter than you, which is why I recognize you don’t have a valid point or argument.

  11. Hmmm, lol, you defo fell into the slop bucket of occultitus. I mean shit—-Trouble was you didn’t read this book which would have grounded you: Towards a Feminist Vision of the Future, by Monica Sjoo. Why would it be a must-read when going into the rabbit hole–so to speak–? because she exposes the New Age, and its modern and ancient roots which are patriarchal. because what you may not realize is is that the occult elite and yes they are still lurking about are not stupid—well they ARE, but they are extremely ruthlessly control freaks and ‘on it’ and will of course want a hand in every pie including the so-called ‘alternative theories’ you were exploring. Does this means that all the leaders of these occult vendors are aware who they working for? not necessarily, but can be ‘useful idiots’ like David Icke and his reptilians. Icke and the like paint a PARANOID version of nature and reality, and THAT is what the elite like to spread–fear. In order to get a handle on their trickery you need–like you see–not ONLY use internet but really study books in depth. The book which really made me take the study of mythology seriously was titled The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross, by John M.Allegro, because he revealed to me how they compose their myths in layers using all kinds of clever literary etc devices so that the initiated can understand which the rest of us don’t. And as you know the Christian myth straightaway de-grades the believer. We are born in original sin, and are dstined for eternal torment in hell UNLESS we obey the author-ity. This is typical tyrannical DIVIDE and CONTROL/CONQUER, and it is up close and personal because they try and divide us from our very bodies, and natures, and Nature, and others!

    Remember the Inquistion–? Who do you think was responsible? It was the rich/elite (and we can conclude many were connected with occultism) against the ‘poor’ who many would also have been into a more earth-centred magic, using mind-altering plants etc.

    So see what happens. See what prceeds the oppressive Church? Scientific materialism! Millions of children, including indigenous children they invade are forced into schools and ‘educated’ in scientism. This is a myth which claims we are predetermined robots living in a dead world, and IF we dont like this they have means to ‘treat’ us with their chemicals and whatnot. *meanwhile*, behind the scenes….feel me? So in conclusion–your mistake was the wallowing in the splurge of infiltrated new age schlock which really is being orchestrated by the very elites they purport to expose.

  12. as a fellow former tin foil hat junkie who had also plunged the depths of the rabbit hole that is all things conspiracy, esoteric, and occult related, i thoroughly enjoyed reading this post, and am glad to have found your site. there were so many things you touched upon that were directly parallel to my own journey. attempting to immerse oneself into the vast realm of seemingly dissimilar yet mysteriously interrelated topics made fertile breeding ground for some intense cognitive dissonance.
    at the end of the day, i too realized that by immersing myself into the study of conspiracy, i was simply escaping my own depressing reality. when you’re broke and unemployed, it’s easy to become the victim and blame it on the evil men behind the curtain. there’s something strangely seductive yet simultaneously pacifying about wanting to take the righteous path and standing up to this monstrous evil, but not having any clue on how to go about it. it just makes you want to get stoned and do nothing!

    i too struggled with the whole luciferian aspect of the secret societies. did that make them evil, or satanic devil worshippers? i’m not entirely buying into that..if that were the case, it would kinda validate christianity. i had already renounced my faith long ago, and am not about to regress back to my religious days.

    that being said, i don’t really take such an adversarial position towards theists/deists as you do. while i have no reason to believe in a separate fatherly creator called “God” per say, I equally have no reason to outright dismiss the idea as implausible, failure of a proof in itself really doesn’t prove anything. (personally i find the daoist model of a spontaneous and organic self-sustaining universe much more feasible) but i must admit, there’s something i find a little troubling about your process of going from the comforts of your own beliefs to taking comfort in discrediting the beliefs of others. not saying this is you, but there has been a growing “movement” almost to the point of a cult, it seems and that is the scientismic cult of pseudoskeptics. i certainly hope you differentiate yourself from them, because some of your responses in the comments above seemed similar to that of your typical pseudoskeptic. they really do give science and the skeptics a bad name.

    “In science, the burden of proof falls upon the claimant; and the more extraordinary a claim, the heavier is the burden of proof demanded. The true skeptic takes an agnostic position, one that says the claim is not proved rather than disproved. He asserts that the claimant has not borne the burden of proof and that science must continue to build its cognitive map of reality without incorporating the extraordinary claim as a new “fact.” Since the true skeptic does not assert a claim, he has no burden to prove anything. He just goes on using the established theories of “conventional science” as usual. But if a critic asserts that there is evidence for disproof, that he has a negative hypothesis—saying, for instance, that a seeming psi result was actually due to an artifact—he is making a claim and therefore also has to bear a burden of proof.”

    — Marcello Truzzi,

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